My life behind the squares – Part 5

It’s been a while since my last update. I needed to process things, and I still am.

It feels like this part is still something we’re ‘in’ and somehow that makes it so much harder to write about.

Meeting the psychologist

We went to a meeting with the psychologist. When we came we all just looked at each other. My husband broke the silence by saying ‘sooo… we’re not really sure why we’re here’.

She just looked at both of us ans started laughing. She felt the exact same.

But somehow we managed to get those two ours to fly by in no time.

Basicly she told us that after the observation they didn’t have any concerns, and even though we weren’t supposed to know this until the meeting with the special needs caretaker and the staff from kindergarten the following week, they didn’t see any reason to go on to get him checked for any diagnoses.

My heart fell to the floor and the frustration rushed up in me.

‘But what about all the things we’ve told you? He is NOT okay! I need to know why, what’s going on. We’ve cancelled all appointments with friends and family for months, we prepare him for everything, we do everything we know to. We can’t even take him to a supermarked to pick up a few things without him going crazy. What are we supposed to do? Who will help us? And what will happen when he starts scool? It took him two years to adapt to kindergarten and it’s still so so so freaking hard on him! I don’t know what to do’. The words just came out like I was boiling over.

She said a lot of ‘annoying’ psychologist stuff like ‘I hear you’ bla bla bla.. I know she ment Well, but I honestly just felt like she was trying to get rid of us and move on.

She is pretty young, and we all have to start somewhere, but in situations like this I would feel more safe with someone who have seen more.

She kept saying that she thought we should turn him in to the local athority and get family advisors from there out to watch him in our home. We repeated that we didn’t think he would react when they were there, told her that we tryed to install a camera at home to catch some of the episodes to show them, but that he after a few minutes saw it and asked ‘is this to know if I do anything I’m not supposed to?’. He is such a clever boy, maybe even a little too clever for his own good sometimes. But she didn’t change her mind. And she told us that she never heard about this masking (acting VERY different at home compared to beeing amongst other people) before, and that is defenitely didn’t had anything to do with a diagnose.

I just kept thinking ‘but what does it have to do with then? What should we do to help him? We need help’.

I even told her how he gets all scared when he walks out the door from kindergarten and then a kid comes by to try talk to him after he ‘looses his mask’.. he can’t deal with it, he can’t step back that quickly, the mask is easier to take off than on..

Then, at last she said, that is we wanted him diagnosed and really thought that was the way, she would give us a ‘buttom’ that we could press at any time, but that she first of all didn’t think he would be accepted to go through because they only have time

To take 50% of the cases of kids who are reccomended to get checked and that she also thought it would be too hard on him to go through.

50%.. only 50% of the kids who are reccomended to get checked out passes because of low resources.. that is horrible!

And too hard on him? I mean.. we’re not doing this because we think it’s fun or easy.. we’re doing it to help him!

We went out with a lot of questions and even more frustrations than we had before we went in. The next meeting seemed meaningless. We already knew what they were gonna say.. but then again.. she gave us an exit.. one that we would hardly get any use of from what she said, but did we have to try? Would it make us bad parents if we pushed it through? Would he be able to handle it? And if we don’y and find out later on that there is something wrong, would we ever forgive ourselves for not taking this chance?

The big meeting

One week later we went to the next meeting. Besides talking about what we already talked about with the psychologist we were also to hear some results of a ‘test’ they made from watching Alfie and asking the caretakers a lot of questions about his abilities in different matters, such as his language, his social skills etc compared to his age.

We started the meeting with that. The special needs caretaker started. She told about the things they have been focusing on and smiled. Them she showed us a curve. And he was above the curve on every point except for one – social skills. I didn’t know what to say. At one point I felt proud.. my little clever boy!! He was blowing the scale! But on the other hand I was frustrated, because.. it was just one test. This wasn’t a full picture.

But then she started to talk. She said that this was the reason that a test like this couldn’t be seen alone. Because looking at this there was nothing to worry about.

And then She added something. For the past few months she has been running a program with the boys from the group that are going to scool this summer. It’s a program about anger, what anger feels like, why we feel it, how we feel it and how we can react on it.

She told us that she had been paying attention to him during this and that she actually saw a boy that never took a break, that was so in to what he’s doing and that is trying almost too hard. Where the other boys sometimes looked out the window, played with a pencil or whatever they did to take those natural breaks sometimes, Alfie never looked away. When he was asked something he was clearly doing everything in his power to look and sound perfect, to figure out what they wanted him to say or do.

Whenever he was teased, disturbed, whenever he had to compromise he never reacted. They told us that thinking of that, it was no wonder he gets aggressive and extroverted when he gets home, because he was a ticking bomb waiting to explode all day.

We talked back and forth. I again expressed my concerns that we needed some help. How would we know how to learn him to show feelings during the day, we didn’t saw that problem at home, so we didn’t have the option to act when it happened. Who could and would help us?

They kept telling us to talk to the family advisor. We read up on that since the last meeting and had a lot of warnings about not going there. They didn’t have the money to help, the staff was constantly replaced and it might end up putting us and him in an even worse situation for a number of reasons.

Then sunddenly the special needs caretaker said ‘I know this was not what we agreed on (looked at the psychologist) but I’m starting to change my mind. I think we should go on with this and get him checked.

We didn’t knew what to say. We asked about the thing about getting approved and if we would even have any chance, and she agreed she wasn’t sure, but that if we waited a few months (the system is under a lot of pressure now because they have to evalue all kids who need to postpone scool start for another year) we would have a better chance.

She told us that it was a big decision and that she didn’t think we should be the ones to take it.

If we are to be accepted we should expect 4-5 months before they can start. There’s no telling how long it takes, they had a girl now who were a bit like Alfie, they weren’t sure, so she had to come to the hospital 6 hours a day every day for a month to make sure they didn’t overlook anything..

This would mean he would start this at the same time as the big kids move to their new scool and start adjusting there before the ‘real start’ after summer. This is a big concern for us. One thing is that it’s really hard on him to start something new, another is that he’s mostly struggleing on the social level. If he were to start something new and only be there for a short time and at the same time be going to the hospital several times a week it would be really hard on everyone. We talked about keeping him in kindergarten until after the summer holiday, but again, that would mean a huge setback on the social level and he would be so upset to be ‘left behind’ without his friends he were supposed to start scool with. We all agreed that he is ready for scool, he loves doing asignmemts, he’s so smart and he wouldn’t thrive beeing held back in kindergarten for another year. But this is all guessing, nothing is certain yet.

And so we agreed to meet again after christmas a talk again.

What about Ellie?

After the meeting i asked the Leader from daycare if I could have a word with her about Ellie. Since last time I tried to talk to the caretaker from her group I never heard anything more, and I wanted to hear what she had to say since she’s the only one left who knows Ellies history. She never heard about the things I told the caretaker. No surprice. But she was very understanding and thought we should take it to a meeting with a special needs caretaker, a psychologist and a Physiotherapist/occupational therapist occupational therapist (much as we started with Alfie). She asked about the Physiotherapist we went to last year and if we should call her in again, but I told her she was young and didn’t seem to have much experience with cases like Ellies, so we agreed we needed someone more experienced.

After this we left. We didn’t say much to eachother. We were both filled up. Releaf, questions, worries and everything inbetween. Suddenly we felt heard. And yet we didn’t feel confident this was ‘it’. What if they would change their minds before our next meeting? How would we get through this? Two kids going through this while already struggleing so much. My husband and I having to keep our heads cold and above water for another 6 months at least. More struggles, more worries, more questions, more stress, more bad consience.. we already feel like we’re only just getting through the days, some days more gracefull than others. Afraid that we’re doing everything wrong. Desperately looking for air, a break, a moment of silence.

And now what?

About 4 months ago I took a consultent job at a Hotel as SoMe and Event manager. I love it. But it takes up a lot of time, and with my photo business on the side I’m working a lot. We need the money, so I can’t change much. My husband is home looking for a job, lots of hours alone with the kids. He’s doing really great, but it’s so stressfull and hard on him to be alone with them, and I have no idea what we will do when he gets a job. Who will take the kids to the hospital if they both get cleared to be checked out? Who will pick them up early because they can’t handle the long days? How are we supposed to be good parents and do ‘life’ at the same time? Will we loose all of our friends?

I mean, parents with perfectly functioning kids are struggleing. How are we supposed to get through with what we have? Sometimes it feels like the burden we have is too heavy for us, that we’re constantly on the edge of breaking. No break. No getting up for air.

I don’t know.

But for now we’re taking one day at a time. Sometimes we fail. We appoligize. We kiss. We hug. We make up. And then we try again tomorrow.

My mum is working as a teacher and went to a reading with a specialist in ADHD. She called me after, told me it was really great, that the women who was speaking was a mother and her daughter has ADHD. She’d been working with parents, kids and institutions who had connections to people with ADHD to help and guide them. We are currently trying to figure out if she would be able to come home to us, give us some advice and guidence. Maybe for Anders, and even though Ellie doesn’t have a diagnose (yet?) she might be able to help with her too. It’s hard to know who to ask for help. Who to ask to help us find the right help. We’re just trying. And I hope we’ll find someone who is just the right person (and affordable) soon.

We tryed to call the family advisors to talk to them about what woulf happen if we went to them, but they just keep pushing us over to someone else and noone will help, just pass us on.. so.. we don’t really have much faith in getting any help from there.

I guess this is just life. Living your own story, finding your own path and trying the best you can. I know we will find the path.. but right now we feel lost, and we are just really looking forward to see a little light and find our way to where we are supposed to be.

To be continued in the new year..

My life behind the squares – Part 4

We had a transfer interview with the daycare and the caretaker in charge of Ellies start in kindergarten. We talked openly about the challenges, how she is such a restless girl with sooooo much energy, that she has a temper of another world ..the daycare agreed and supported what we said. We also told them that we already knew we wanted her checked to know if she has a diagnosis at some point at that she was geneticly exposed for having ADHD etc.

The kindergarten caretaker seemed very sceptic, and since she never met Ellie at the time we thought it was probably normal.

Our kindergarten have two groups of kids, and after talking it through with the leader who knew Ellie from daycare too, we decited it was best for the kids to be in each their groups. This way they would have their own space but would still see each other during the day if they wanted to.

The startup went pretty smooth, Alfie was a big help and it was clear she felt safe with him there. He started to take on this new role as protecting big brother, a side of him we rarely saw before, it was so nice and we really felt proud!

She of course refused to nap, still does, but we figured that, it didn’t surprice us, but the caretakers were pretty surpriced when it didn’t happen even after a few weeks.

Every day when she comes home she’s exhausted, yet she wakes up every single night with nightmares etc.

Back to Alfie

Getting back after a holiday has always been really hard for Alfie since he started kindergarten and this time was no different. On top his baby sister started kindergarten too which left him in a new role and also he started in this new prescool group for the oldest kids from both groups.

All of this was/is just too much. He started acting more out at home, mostly on me and Ellie. He started getting more aggressive, he started to hit, push, yell, say awfull things that I would never have though he could even imagine to say.. it was and it is worse than ever. When I zoome out it’s clear as day that he is just filled up. He acts out because he has no idea what else to do. He’s trying so hard!

The minute we walk out the door from kindergarten to go home he goes from calm and happy to angry and aggressive. And it kills me. It kills me to see him like that, to not know what to do! And at the same time it is so so hard to be in this aaaaall the time. To hear you little boy telling you over and over that he hope you will die in horrible ways, that he wants to run away, wants another family or that he will do bad things to himself just to hurt me. I know he doesn’t mean any of it. It’s said in anger and helplessness. But it hurts like hell.

As he’s getting older it’s become clear that he need a lot of sleep. He’s 5 and he still gets put to bed 6.30pm and sleeps 12-14 hours every night. But after the summer holiday when things got worse he also started to get restless when it’s bedtime. He can’t find pease.

We recently got a heavy duvet for both kids from (ad) and so far it’s been helping Alfie a lot, both when he feels restless at night, but also when he comes home and get some of his major rage outbursts. We take him up, comforts him and when he’s settled we sit him with the duvet over him to watch tv or iPad to help him relax.

Ellie needs more time to get used to new things, and the duvet isn’t her best friend yet, but I have a feeling it will get better!

Service info about the heavy duvets:

They have a 14 days trial, if it doesn’t help you can return it. They also have a sibling discount, so if you buy two you will get 50% off the second one.

We do everything we can to help, keep it slow and simple at home, not to make plans, to prepare him (and Ellie) if we have any plans. But nothing seems to help. It feels like his world is slowly crashing and I can’t help but to think of the girl from our family who had to come so far down before anyone saw the how much she needed help.

Every single day feels like one long conflict.

And on the other hand we have Ellie. Those two are like night and day and they have so different needs.

Aaaaand back to Ellie

After one month in kindergarten Ellies primary caretaker suddenly just took off. One day we just got an email saying she had left her job without saying goodbye to anyone. And a few days later there were 3 new kids starting in Ellies group and she just got lost. Suddenly noone in her group knew anything about her and her struggles anymore. And it really affected her. She started to get more restless than ever, she wakes up beeing so upset every night and her tantrums went from 5 to 500.

The meeting

Back to the meeting about Alfie. We had the first meeting back in september.

We told them about our concerns both because of his behavior but also backed up by the knowledge we have about the genetic risk our kids are in. We shared the story about the girl in our family who hid behind a facade for so many years before her entire world just collapsed. We told them that we have no intention of ‘dragging a diagnose over his head’ and that we of course hope none of our kids has one, but also that if they have we want to know as soon as possible to be able to help them the best way we can. We know that Alfred is Alfred, and no diagnose can change who he is! But he’s starting scool soon and that will require so much for from him. We’re concerned that he might not have the energy to both start something new, try to be social (which both requires a lot from him) and at the same time have energy to focus on the learning part. He is a smart kid, and I’m not worried he can’t handle the assigments, but it would be so much easier to know if he has any special needs we need to consider and work in to his and our everyday life.

Their reaction wasn’t what we dreamed of, but we knew before we started this, that even getting them to diagnose him would be a long and hard fight. We’ve read about and talked to people who went through this with kids in much worse situations than ours, and even then we learned that a lot of parents actually had to give op their jobs just to come through and fight for their kids.

They basicly kept telling us that until it was worse they didn’t think it would be relevant to check him for any diagnoses.

We just sat there and looked.. so.. we have to wait for our son to feel worse before you want to do anything? It seems so crazy!!

The caretaker from Alfies group that attended the meeting was so supportive. She was the only person in the room who made us feel understood. She kept saying things like ‘Maja, correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t feel like you understand what Maja is actually saying’ or ‘okay.. but this doesn’t really answer the question about if he can get checked for a diagnose’. She was such a support and I don’t know what we would have done without her in this.

It ended up with a suggestion that they would come watch him in kindergarten for a few times and then they would make a profile that should tell us more about his stragegies. After that we should meet with the psychologist and after that we all would meet together again.

When I picked up the kids that afternoon I pulled the caretaker aside to tell her thank you for beeing so understanding and supportive. She just looked at me with a sad face and told me she’d been through the exact same thing with her daughter years ago, and that she knew what a struggle we have in front of us and what a nightmare this process could be.

We kept in touch and we would talk almost on a dayly basis with the primary caretaker about how things were going.

And it wasn’t going well. His outbursts got worse and after a few weeks there was a really ugly episode that ended up with Alfie giving me a bloodnose. We both ended up crying and I knew he felt so bad, he never ment to do it, but he just couldn’t control himself.

After that our caretaker advised us to call the psychologist. We had another 3 weeks before our meeting and with the way things escalated she thought it would be best if we talked to her as soon as possible. And we did.

The psychologist adviced us to make a reporting to the local authoroity and have family counseling come to our home and watch him. We explained that we didn’t thought that would work, because he would put on his ‘mask’ just as he does in front of family and friends and as he do in kindergarten. But no matter what we said it just felt like she put all responsibilities on someone else. She even said that if they didn’t see anything in kindergarten it was out of her hands.

It was so frustrating. How about all the things we told them? Didn’t they believe us? And on top of that the high genetic risk.. wasn’t any of this enough for them to at least consider getting him checked?

And back to Ellie again

Back to Ellie.. Last year she started to complain that her stomach hurt. It got worse and she would say it like 20 times a day. We took her to the doctor who refered her to a childrens doctor, but she didn’t find anything and said it was probably just constipation. It came and passed a lot during the next year, but then during the summer it started to get worse. And on top she would tell us aaaaaaall the time that she was hungry. She cried and cried when we told her she couldn’t have any more food and it was frustrating for both her and us. A few times she even vomited because she had too much food. My husband and I started to wonder if she might have problems to feel when she was full. And so we took her to the doctor again a few weeks ago. She checked her and again, she didn’t find anything. Then she started to ask if she was always this restless and I explained our situation to her. She told me she didn’t think Ellie had any pains or was hungry, but that her restlessness could cause her to say or even believe it. She though we should get her checked for a diagnose. My first though was just ‘no.. no I can’t do that now too’. I am so tired from this. It feels like it just never ends. And having just a little taste of how it goes with Alfie just made me scared to do it with one more kid at the same time. But I knew she was probably right, and so the next day I talked to a caretaker from Ellies group, told her what the doctor told me. She was just another sceptical person, thought it was exaggerated and that it came out of the blue. And all I could think was ‘Well of course you do, you know nothing about Ellie’. Because when Ellies primary caretaker just took off noone knew anything about her anymore. Again, I felt frustrated!

Next day I talked to another caretaker from Ellies group, she was supposed to be her new primary person, we had asked to be given a new one since Ellie had some history that we would like to be able to talk to someone about. She was very sweet and understanding, had been reading up on Ellies files and I thought ‘okay, maybe it’s not that bad after all’.. until I picked her up that afternoon and the first caretaker I told about our visit to the doctor told me that I should not talk to anyone else about this and that she was the person who handled these kind of things because she had a higher education – she was clearly offended. It felt like it was all about her honor.. And I felt like telling her a thing or two, but I didn’t.. instead I figured if she was the one who was gonna help us through this I needed to be on good terms with her. I tried to get back on the subject and ask what she thought we should do, but she just changed the subject and walked away. Great.

To be continued..

My life behind the squares – Part 3

I remember when we had the introducing talk with the daycare, where we told them about her, what kind of girl she was. We told them that she was a girl with a lot of energy, she had a hard time falling asleep and she was often really restless. I remember the understanding words with and undertone of ‘we have had so many kids here, of course we can get her to sleep’. Of course we also talked about what a caring and loving little girl she is, and how impressed we are to see how she always think of others even at such a young age. And she remains that way!

Days passed, weeks passed and they still couldn’t do it. She wouldn’t sleep, and there were so many days where I had to pick her up because she got so upset when they tried to put her down they didn’t know what to do.

After about a month we had a meeting with the daycare. We expressed our concerns about her not sleeping. What would it do to her to loose that much sleep? Was something wrong? How could we help her?

The daycare staff mentioned that they have noticed she was very hybermobile and that she would often do things that were dangerous and too hard for a two year old.

We decited together that we should see a Physiotherapist. She was supposed to help us figure out if we should try a heavy duvet (in Denmark the daycare needs a Physiotherapist approval and guidence to use them in daycare) and if we should do anything about her beeing hybermobile.

We went there for a few months. It was a young girl, fresh from school and I could feel she wanted to help, but also that she didn’t had a lot of experience. She concluted that Ellie was very hybermobile and told us that sometimes that causes restlessness because it’s harder to feel your body when you are hybermobile. We got some exercises that would be good for her and that was pretty much it.

After about 5 months she finally started to sleep in daycare! Just like that. Maybe it was just how long it took for her to get used to the new routine, because when it finally happened she slept every day in daycare since then. The strickt routines was definitely something that meant a lot to her!

While all of this was going on I decited to start my own business. Lately I had more photo jobs, and it seemed like the best solution for our family that I could work from home and manage my own time. This way I was still able to give the kids short days and days off, and I knew they needed that!

After Ellie started daycare Alfie got worse. He started to act more out psysicly at home, mostly on Ellie and a few rare times on me. She’s always been a strong girl, so she mostly just took it, but my husband and I was worried. Were this what it was like for all parents? Did all kids feel this worn out after a day in kintergarten? He is our first child, we never tried anything else than what we have, so we kept thinking it was probably okay. But it kept getting worse.

Next fall we decited to talk to the kindergarten. Ask them if everything was okay over there, if they had seen anything unusual in his behavior or anything like that. We wanted some anwseres. They told us that he was a bright kid, far along for his age. He was a quiet boy, didn’t attend any wild games, mostly played with the youngest children and often took ‘breaks’ where he would go somewhere alone to play quietly with a car or something like that. They also told us that they had asked him why he would get so upset when we dropped him off and that he told them that he didn’t like it in kindergarten because there were so many people, and that he liked it more at home because it was more quiet.

We asked in to that last part, if that was to expect from a 4/almost 5 year old, and they didn’t seem to think of it as a problem. We thought we were probably just over worried so we didn’t say anything else.

A few days after our meeting we had an ‘incident’.

We were at my parents in law, the kids were sitting on the floor playing and we were sitting around them talking while my father in law was trying to fix the speakers. Suddenly the music started very loud, and he instantly turned it off. You know when a high sound like that suddenly appears, you have a quick chock, and we all did. Ellie just went back to playing after at short look at us, but Alfie..

..he started shaking. Then he screamed. Or more yelled. He first threw around all the toys around him while he was yelling, and then he clenched his fists really tight. I ran to him at picked him up, hugged him, and he just kept yelling, screaming, shaking and the tears were running down his little face. It kept on like this for maybe 30 seconds or a minte, I’m not sure, it felt like forever. When he stopped we all just looked at each other. What happened? His grandparents tried to cheer him up but he just talked back really angry. Then they left me and Alfie alone, and I tried to talk to him. What happened? He said he was angry with his grandparents, and he clearly blamed them for putting him in this situation. That was how he felt. Like they did it to him. I said I was sorry he felt that way, and tried to explain that they didn’t do anything (at least not on purpose) and that the loud sound was just an accident.

He had been showing signs of not liking loud noices for a while, but never like this.

When we got home and the kids were sleeping my husband and I talked it over again, and we decited to talk to the kindergarten staff again, come clean, tell them about our worries and this episode.

At first their reaction was that is was quite normal to get scared from loud sounds, but we insisted this was not a normal reaction. Then they told us that they really only saw a sensitive but very bright kid, but after telling more about what was going on at home they seemed to understand more and more.

After this meeting we decited together that my husband and I had to make a reporting about our concerns which would allow the kindergarten to bring Alfie up on a interdisciplinary meeting with a special need caretaker, a psychologist, a family Consultant and a few others.

They did, and decited we should have a meeting with one of the caretakers from kindergarten along with a special need caretaker and a psychologist. Because of Corona if wouldn’t be anytime soon, so we waited around 4 months for the meeting.

Meanwhile the summer holiday came, and after that Ellie moved up to kindergarten.

To be continued..

My life behind the squares – Part 2

I remember the exact place I was when he called. ‘I got diagnosed with ADHD. He want me to start take medication for it.’

I tryed to stay calm, asked him how he was feeling about it, and he said he was feeling okay, and that he had probably known for a while. Then I felt this wave of relief, a feeling that maybe things would get better, easier for him and for us now.

Then he said ‘our kids have a 50% risk of having it too.. and also bigger risk to autism and stuff like that’ . I looked down at my little boy and my baby girl and i froze. I quickly ended the call and did everything possible to keep my tears back. My brain was exploding, I kept thinking all those ‘what if’s.. what if the kids had something, what if my selfless wish to have kids was the reason they might have to go through a life with so many obstacles.. what if they would suffer more than their friends.. what if, what if, what if.. then I decited to call my mum.

I told her about the diagnose and then I told her that the kids were in pretty high risk too.. and then I cried. Right there in the middle of the street in front of my kids and everyone else passing by. She tried to comfort me, and to tell me that this was good, and if they were to have a diagnose we were now in a much better position to help them, to be aware, to understand.

I tried to pull myself together, I didn’t want to come home like this, I had to be strong for my husband now, not the other way around.

This was shortly before Ellies 1st birthday. She had shown do be an energetic girl very early on, and around her 1st birthday we started having trouble putting her down for her nap.

Alfie was 3,5 years when we ‘took his nap away’ and by then he would still sleep for hours on his nap. So it didn’t feel right that she would already not need a nap.

At the same time Alfie moved from daycare to kindergarten. I didn’t though it would be hard for him, he never had any issues going to daycare, getting dropped off etc. But that completely changed when he started kindergarten.

The next year was really hard. My husband started taking medicine for his ADHD, and he didn’t respond well. His doses were often increased. He started sleeping worse, feeling worse and he just really didn’t feel well, I could tell that by looking at him for a second.

After a few months it turned out he had been overdosed and he was cut back. It helped a little but not much and he was miserable.

Meanwhile I tryed my best to take responsibility for the kids and our home. I slowly started to pull away from my husband, we had so many conflicts all the time, and I was just too tired, I couldn’t handle it. My husband had to fight his own battle, so I felt that I had to do all the rest and definitely not cause any further problems for him. I began to feel really really lonely. We were just two people living under the same roof. I didn’t have the energy or the conscience to go anywhere without the kids, because I knew it was too stressfull for my husband to have them alone.

The next spring I couldn’t do it anymore. I talked to him, I cried and cried and told him I was exhausted. I couldn’t go on like this. He was hurt. He felt like it was his fault, that I was blaming him. I understood, but I was so frustrated because all I wanted was to help him. After that we had a few deep talks.

He started to take a different kind of medicine and things got better. He was more attentive to help in our home, and some of the problems we had that were still there felt easier to talk about along the way because we did talk about it. We got better, together, closer.

Ellie was still struggleing to sleep, both her nap and the evening tuck in’s were a nightmare. We both felt frustrated about it, and at the same time we had Alfie who was mostly really easy, but also really much in need of us, beeing close and taking things slowly.

He couldn’t handle to many plans and was easely overstimulated. The drop off in kindergarten remained a nightmare, and Corona rules did not make it any easier for him. Most days the caretakers would have to pull him away from me with force while he was screaming (not crying, screaming), kicking, hitting and yelling ‘mummy don’t let them take me, don’t walk away from me’. I was devastated every day. He had a great time during the day, thank god, but he also had an inner clock knowing when I would be back, and every day when I came he would stand with his back on by the fence when I came for him.

His days in kindergarten was short and I often gave him a day off because I was still home with Ellie. But the days away took out all of his energy.

Then Ellie started daycare..

To be continued..

My life behind the squares – Part 1

I have been thinking for so long, going back an forth. On one hand I really felt a need to share something about life behind the squares with everyone around me.. on the other I didn’t feel it was right for my family, my kids.. especially now that everything is still so unknown for us.

But then I got to think.. what if there’s someone else out there going through something like this? Like us. Like me. Feeling what I feel like a lot of days?

..Like a crappy mum and wife, lonely, lost, scared, worried, frustrated and somehow so far from the person I thought I could be.

And really, I would never say or do anything to hurt my family! This is in no way an attempt to put them out there for people to use it agains them. But I also want awareness, to be able to talk openly with them and everyone else we meet during our everyday and our life. To be able to tell others in similar situations that they are not alone. And maybe even find someone who’s a little further along this journey than we are right now to talk to.

The beginning

I’m not sure I can pick a time where this started, but I know when diagnoses became an official part of our lifes for the first time.

It was back in 2016. I was pregnant with Alfred. We got word that a 12 year old family member was admitted with a mental breakdown. It was a horrible time for both her and her close family and it touched everyone in our family very deeply. For almost at year she was admitted before she was finally diagnosed with autism.

12 years. It wasn’t like her parents didn’t tryed to do something in those 12 years, they did! But noone did anything, because noone seemed to think anything was wrong. She is such a bright and clever person, and she had gone through life trying to copy everyone around her. That’s how she got through it all that time, and noone looked close enough to see through it.

She was released to get her diagnose, she could finally relax and just be the beautiful person she’d always been underneath the mask.

I think this experience was what put the first serious seeds in my husbands mind to get some answers. His entire life he had been called nicknames refering to actual diagnoses, I’m sure they didn’t mean anything by it, but to him it did, because it struck a nerve. He felt different and somewhere deep down he kept wondering if there might be a reason. How can you know if you are normal when all you really know is your own percepton of the world?

When Ellie was born things started to escalate for my husband. He was so stressed and he got worse and worse. I kept trying to talk to him about the fact that men actually have post partum depressions as well as women. He refused but he felt that he wasn’t well and after a while he went to his doctor amd explined everything. She send him to a psychiatrist and he started to meet with him very often. One day he came home and asked me to write one page about what I thought was different about him than other people. I just looked at him like ‘what???’.. I mean.. what!!! His psychiatrist that I never met asked me to write something about my husband for him to use. My husband told me he didn’t had to see it, but I couldn’t do that. That would only make it feel even more awkward. But it was a hard thing to be asked as a wife, it felt like a betrayal, but I knew it was for his best.. So I did it, I wrote it. Said some things I never had the heart and courage to tell him before. And it hurt. He acted angry, but I knew it hurt. And I felt so powerless to help or do anything for him.

A few weeks later I was out on a little walk with the kids. Then my husband called me…

To be continued….

For The Love Of Linen Part 2

Indeholder reklame

For et stykke tid siden skrev jeg et blogindlæg om min forkærlighed for det skønneste materiale jeg kender: Hør. Et slidstærkt, praktisk og smukt materiale som jeg ikke kan få nok af. Det begrænser sig ikke til en bestemt kategori, nej nej, det gælder dem alle; tøj, gardiner, sengetøj, møbler, vægkunst osv. J E G E L S K E R H Ø R!

Budgetvenligt alternativ til en hørsofa
Med det på plads vil jeg hurtigt bevæge mig videre, for jeg har nemlig udvidet mit sortiment herhjemme lidt siden sidst. I mit forrige indlæg skrev jeg hvor meget jeg ønsker mig en sofa i hør. Det gør jeg stadigvæk, jeg synes ikke der findes noget mere hyggeligt og pænt end en krøllet hør sofa i en simpelt minimalistisk design. Sådan havde vi desværre ikke råd til i første omgang. Derfor fandt jeg en anden løsning som både var nem, økonomisk og praktisk – især når man har børn.

Sådan ser det ud, vores budgetvenlige svar på en hørsofa. Jeg ved jo selvfølgelig godt det ikke er den perfekte løsning, men jeg synes faktisk det fungerer rigtig godt, og jeg elsker det nye look. Vi har valgt 2 lagener i farven Off White, Crushed som base og tilføjet et par matchende puder i en anelse mere rustikt look, men samme farve.

Det er pludselig blevet meget nemmere at vaske ‘sofaen’, og børnene kan sidde og spise i sofaen uden vi skal bekymre os for genstridige pletter osv. Desuden kan vi, hvis vi skulle få lyst, nemt og billigt skifte farven ud og stadig have god brug af lagenerne – det er nemlig de bedste laguner at ligge på.

Alt efter hvilken sofa man har kan man jo selv ligge, minde og folde lagenerne som man vil, jeg har lagt det lidt ‘rodet’ på med vilje, fordi jeg synes det er lidt hyggeligt i det ellers ret minimalistiske miljø vi har.

Herunder er et par billeder til inspiration fra andre hjem som også har valgt at indrette deres sofa med hørlagener.

what i love | White couch cover, Diy couch cover, Home living room
Are white couches family friendly or a no-go zone? |
love shabby chic of covering a couch with linen sheet. | White living room  decor, Home, Living room makeover

Mit absolutte favorit sengetøj
Sidste gang jeg skrev om hør havde jeg netop fået mit første sæt sengetøj i hør, og jeg var og er simpelthen så glad for det at det endte med et sæt mere. Vask efter vask bliver det kun bedre, blødere, pænere. Det bliver ikke grit i farven, det går ikke op i sømmene, det er håndværk af 1. klasse og det er hør i en fantatisk kvalitet. Denne gang har vi valgt sengetøj i en naturfarvet forvasket udgave sammen med et matchende lagen i samme naturfarve. Det er fuldstændig lige så skønt som det andet sæt, og vi skifter stort set kun mellem disse to sæt.

Jeg har allerede udset mig et sæt jeg ønsker mig næste gang, denne gang i en mere våget og sommerlig farve, nemlig dette gule sæt. Er det ikke skønt?
Som nogle af jer måske ved, så har jeg en kærlighed for gul, så selvom jeg oftest bevæger mig i de neutrale og klassiske farver, så kan jeg alligevel godt lide at blande lidt farve ind hist og her, og denne solgule farve minder mig om varme sommerdage, solbrændt hud og solskin.

Hør i vores hjem
Til sidst et lille blandet galleri med billeder fra vores hjem. Som I kan se indgår hør i alt fra soveværelset til stuen og børneværelset. Ja selv i garderoben, i køkkenet og på badeværelset finder I hør. Endnu en varm og kærlig anbefaling fra mig til den familieejede virksomhed LinenMe som aldrig går ned på kvalitet og godt håndværk.

Jeg håber dette skriv har inspireret jer til hvordan man nemt kan bruge hør i sit hjem, kan opgradere en sofa eller forkæle sig selv med det bedste sengetøj jeg endnu har prøvet.

Tak fordi I læste med!


For the love of linen

Sponsoreret indlæg

Et af mine absolut favorit tekstiler er hør. Ud over at hør er enormt pænt, især er jeg vild med det stenvaskede krøllede look, så har det også en masse gode egenskaber som fx at være varmeregulerende og enormt slidstærkt.

For en måneds tid siden dumpede en pakke fra en lille Litaunsk familievirksomhed, som hedder LinenMe ind af døren. Inga, som er stifter af virksomheden brænder for at lave hør tekstiler som er slidstærke og som kan bruges igen og igen og som passer ind i et stilfuldt hjem som vægter kvalitet og æstetik.

Når jeg indretter mit hjem, tænker jeg meget over hvordan jeg kan indrette simpelt og stilrent men stadig få det til at se hyggeligt og indbydende ud.
En af de ting jeg elsker ved hør, er at det netop har en egenskab til at se simpelt ud, men med dets krøllede og bløde look samtidig formår at skabe en helt særlig stemning.
Jeg tror ikke jeg ved noget mere hyggeligt og stilet end en sofa i hør med det der krøllede stenvaskede look.

Derfor har jeg også sørget for at der findes hør flere forskellige steder i mit hjem – og jeg har mere på ønskelisten!

Tidløs kvalitet og luksus i soveværelset
Efter 10 år med dobbeltdyne har min mand nu fået en kugledyne, hvilket har betydet at vi begge er gået over til enkeltdyner. Vi har fået de lækreste dyner fra Fossflaskes. De laver dyner med allergivenligt fyld og uden animalsk indhold. Dynerne føles spøde og ‘fluffy’ fuldstændig ligesom en ny dundyne. Anders har fået en forårsdyne, den er lidt tyndere end min, fordi han også har kugledynen, og jeg har valgt en efterårsdyne.

Lagen og sengetøj har jeg valgt i en fin forvasket kvalitet i farven off white. Det er en type med et meget krøllet look, og det betyder også at du aldrig skal bekymre dig o, at skulle stryge, hvis du er en af de typer der finder på den slags 😉 Lagenet har jeg valgt i en stor størrelse så det hænger ud over siderne på sengen, det synes jeg også er med til at give et hyggeligt og indbydende look.

En indbydende og rolig atmosfære i stuen
I stuen har jeg valgt de smukkeste hør gardiner med bindebånd i toppen i en tyk kvalitet. Farven hedder ‘havregrød’ og selvom navnet måske ikke lyder så sexet, så er det en virkelig fin farve som komplimenterer vores lyse indretning rigtig fint. Gardinerne fås i flere forskellige størrelser og hvis du har brug for special mål kan du også skrive til firmaet med en forespørgsel på dette da de fleste produkter bliver syet i hånden.

Gardinerne er som sagt i en tyk kvalitet og holder faktisk lyset godt ude. Man kan heller ikke se igennem, hvilket især er vigtigt for os da vi bor i stueetagen.

Ud over gardinerne har jeg også fået den smukkeste naturfarvede dug som har en fin flosset detalje i kanterne. Den er tyk og lækker i kvaliteten og kan nemt vaskes i vaskemaskinen.

Jeg elsker at have dug på, og når jeg ind i mellem får lyst til et mere hyggeligt og ‘rent’ look i stuen ryger den på uden at jeg er bange for at få pletter på, for jeg har faktisk ikke oplevet noget der ikke gik af endnu – rødvin, solbærmarmelade, kødsovs, you name it, det er gået af.

Mere hør? Ja tak!

Nogen vil måske mene at det kan blive for meget, men jeg har meget mere hør på ønskelisten. Nogle lækre sofapuder og med tiden måske også den drømmesofa i hør jeg altid har ønsket mig. Alternativt har jeg overvejet muligheden for at købe et stort lagen og bruge som et overbetræk på sofaen, og hvis der så senere skulle blive råd til drømmesofaen har man jo bare et eksta lagen til soveværelset. Det ville være et argument der talte til min kære mand.

Jeg har også allerede tilføjet mere sengetøj til min ønskeseddel, for det er det pæneste og lækreste sengetøj vi nogensinde har ejet. Jeg drømmer også om et stort quiltet sengetæppe i naturfarvet hør.

Hørgardinerne vil jeg gerne fortsætte med i vores øvrige rum, for jeg synes virkelig de skaber en virkelig dejlig atmosfære i rummet. Min oprindelige tanke med min gardinvæg i soveværelset var faktisk at det skulle være i hør med små påsyede tørrede blomster. Kan i forestille jer hvor smukt det ville se ud?

Ud over hør i min indretning er jeg også virkelig glad for det i min garderobe. Derfor er der også lidt forskelligt på ønskelisten til mig selv og børnene, bl.a. en hør morgenkåbe, pyjamas, de perfekte vide lyse hør bukser og en god hør maxi kjole.

Støt de små virksomheder

I denne tid er det virkelig vigtigt at vi støtter de små virksomheder, og selvom jeg har fået produkterne i gave mener jeg virkelig fra hjertet at de produkter er alle pengene værd hvis du ønkser noget som er pænt, klassisk og i lækker kvalitet. Et ensfarvet sæt sengetøj i hør går ikke af mode, så det er en god investering som du kommer til at tilbringe mange gode timer i.

Hvad er dit bedste hør-køb?

Til sidst må jeg lige høre om der er nogen på linjen som også elsker hør, og som måske har nogle ting de er glade for som jeg ikke har nævnt? Jeg er sikker på min mand vil være meget taknemmelig for et par ekstra gaveidéer til hans søde kone 😉

Tak fordi I læste med!


Familiens hjerterum

Indeholder reklame

Hvis I følger med på Instagram har I måske bemærket at der er sket en del i familiens hjerterum, nemlig vores stue! Bl.a. nye møbler fra Sofakompagniet, VIA Copenhagen og et smukt vitrineskab i jern fra Direkte Import.

Jeg elsker når der sker forandringer, og jeg elsker at tage udfordringen op at få et hjem med børn til at se pænt ud, samtidig med at der skal være plads til de små. 

Nye møbler fra Sofakompagniet
Der er rykket flere møbler ind fra Sofakompagniet, et brand som jeg længe har fulgt tæt, fordi jeg synes de gør det virkelig godt! De har nogle enormt smukke møbler af høj kvalitet og til en rigtig god pris!
Derudover har de mulighed for at man kan designe sine egne møbler og give det et personligt præg, og det synes jeg er vildt fedt! 

Vores nye sofa hedder Rover, farven hedder Todd Grey Brown, og benene er Smoaked Oak. Jeg havde faktisk en drøm om en rustfarvet sofa i velour, men min kære mand var ikke nem at overtale, så vi endte med Rover, og vi er så glade for den! Man sidder godt og ret i den hvilket var et must, fordi Anders har virkelig mange rygproblemer! Jeg er helt vild med at farven ikke bare er grå, men har en varm tone med et brunt skær.


Lænestolen Louis, et møbel jeg har drømt om sååå længe, og nu hvor den er her fatter jeg ikke vi kunne leve uden! Vi kalder den ‘morfar stolen’ for det er sådan en stor dejlig stol med plads til alle børnene på skødet og man kan også snilt tage sig en morfar i den! Jeg elsker at sidde i den, og Ellie og jeg bruger mange gode timer på amning og hygge lige dér! 


Logan er den sidste tilføjelse fra Sofakompagniet. Et smukt rundt spisebord i Smoaked Oak. Det er nemt at vedligeholde, slet ikke sart (det er et kæmpe plus når man har børn) og så elsker jeg den måde et rundt bor kan samle folk på! Jeg sparer en masse vask af duge, for dét bord er smukt nok i sig selv, det behøver ingen dug! 


Børn i stuen
En af de ting der er meget vigtige for mig når jeg indretter, især i stuen, er at der er plads til børnene. Børnene har hver deres lille Nofred stol ved sofabordet, og Alfred elsker at han har sin egen lille plads der. Begge børn har en stol ved spisebordet og der står et lille dukkehus, som er så fint at det bestemt er en stue værdig, og Alfred elsker at lege med det. Til sidst har de et lille skab i børnehøjde, hvor det legetøj der bliver brugt mest ligger. Det er nok den løsning jeg er aller mest glad for i forhold til børnene, det giver mig mulighed for at rydde stuen og sørge for her er pænt, men Alfred kan alligevel til hver en tid komme til hans legetøj når han vil.


Et nyt hjem til mit stentøj
Jeg har en stor svaghed for stentøj, og i takt med at samlingen er vokset har jeg længe gået og drømt om et stort smukt vitrineskab.

Den drøm er endelig gået i opfyldelse med dette store smukke vitrineskab i jern fra Direkte Import. Det er simpelthen bare så lækkert, super rummeligt, perfekt størrelse og kvaliteten er i top helt ned til magnetlukningen i lågerne.

Hvis jeg nogensinde skal bruge mere opbevaringsplads til stel og stentøj vil jeg helt klart gå til Direkte Import, der er simpelthen et mega stort og lækkert udvalg af vitrineskabe, både i metal og træ, til virkelig fornuftige priser!


Første klasses håndværk fra Via Copenhagen
Kære VIA Copenhagen sendte mig lige før jul en overraskelse,  nemlig vores nye sofaborde. VIA Copenhagen er en dansk virksomhed som producerer møbler på deres eget værksted i Præstø. De kan virkelig deres kram, og jeg har truet dem med at flytte ind på værkstedet, for jeg gad faktisk godt have nærmest alt hvad de laver! Det er håndværk på højt plan og hvis man køber sit møbel fra herfra er der med garanti mulighed for at være med i beslutninger og personliggøre sine møbler – jeg er virkelig stor fan!

Troels fra VIA Copenhagen har lavet bordene specielt til mig, og jeg kan ikke huske hvornår jeg sidst har fået en så fin gestus. De er helt vildt smukke, og det er så smart til vores lille lejlighed at man kan skubbe dem lidt ind under hinanden så de ikke fylder så meget, men alligevel kan trække dem lidt væk fra hinanden når vi er mange. Så selvom de er meget anderledes end det bord jeg drømte om, så er jeg blevet glad for dem, og de er med til at skabe et personligt og varmt udtryk i vores stue.


Den lille detalje og store forskel
Den sidste lille detalje jeg vil fortælle om, er en lille detalje som har gjort en kæmpe forskel i stuen, nemlig vores radiatorskjuler fra Røverkøb. Der er ikke meget andet at sige om den end at den er helt vildt smuk, og jeg forstår ikke hvorfor jeg ikke har fået sådan en for længe siden! Og nååh ja, så ønsker jeg mig en til både soveværelset og børneværelset også!



Nye drømme og idéer
Jeg har altid idéer og drømme til min bolig! Jeg er ikke typen der går så højt op i nytårsforsætter, men jeg har faktisk besluttet mig for at 2019 skal være året hvor jeg bliver bedre til at springe ud i nye ting! Vælge mere med hjertet i stedet for med hjernen! Tage de sjove valg frem for de praktiske, hvis jeg føler for det. Kan I mærke hvor jeg vil hen? Nemlig! Jeg ønsker mig stadig en orange veloursofa!  Et møbel med et statement og med personlighed! Pt er det de her to (øverste fra Sofakompagniet, den nederste fra Broste Copenhagen) jeg har drømmer om, og jeg skal nok få manden overtalt.. tror jeg nok!


Derudover har jeg også stadig en drøm om det der for mig er det perfekte sofabord, det her smukke ovale bord fra smukke VIA Copenhagen, som jeg synes ville komplimentere en orange sofa meeeeega godt! 


Jeg drømmer om nye spisebordsstole, øverst på ønskelisten står de her fra Findahls.

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Jeg drømmer om at børnene skal have ens høje stole fx de her skønheder fra Budtz Bendix!


Jeg drømmer om et lækkert gulvtæppe under sofaen, en gulvlampe til min lænestol og om en smuk lys farve på væggene.

Ja, drømme og idéer er der nok af, men indtil nu er jeg bare så glad for at vores families hjerterum konstant kommer tættere på at være perfekt, og at vi er nået så langt som vi er! Vi elsker at være her, vi bruger meget tid sammen her, og jeg stornyder at være herhjemme på barsel!

Tusind tak fordi du læste med!



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Bedre Nætter for mor og far

Dette indlæg indeholder reklame for Bedre Nætter


Anders og jeg har fået ny seng! Ja, den er god nok, det er vores tur til at blive forkælet, og det er vi sandelig blevet! Jeg tror det er det bedste møbel vi nogensinde har haft i vores hjem, og aldrig før har jeg glædet mig SÅ meget til at skulle i seng!

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Køb din seng online
Vores nye seng er fra Bedre Nætter, som er en online sengeforhandler. Det vil sige at de kun sælger senge online, og det kan for nogen lyde lidt skræmmende. Hvem ville dog købe en seng online, uden at have prøvet at ligge i den først?

Bedre Nætter tilbyder en virkelig god online service, og man har både mulighed for at skrive og ringe til dem om vejledning. De ved rigtig meget om deres senge, og ærlig talt, så giver jeg meget mere for god og faglig vejledning end jeg giver for min egen knap så faglige vurdering efter at have ligget i 10 forskellige senge i en butik.

Det er virkelig nemt at handle på deres hjemmeside, og man bliver nemt guided igennem valg af madras, top madras, sengegavl, farve osv.

En smuk seng giver et smukt soveværelse

De fleste mennesker har ikke ret meget mere end en seng og et skab i deres soveværelse, og for mig at se er sengen hovedelementet i et soveværelse. Derfor gør det også utrolig meget i soveværelset at have en pæn seng.

Vi har valgt sengen i en smuk sandfarve, og jeg er helt vild med både farven og materialet. Modellen vi har valgt hedder Venus Luna. Det jeg særligt faldt for ved denne model var at den er meget enkelt og klassisk, hvilket jeg er stor fortaler for, især når det er et møbel man skal have i sit hjem mange år frem. Vi har valgt egetræsben og en chesterfield sengegavl, og de detaljer er for mig det der sætter prikken over i’et. Hver gang jeg går ind i soveværelset beundrer jeg det smukke møbel og især sengegavlen, og hver gang jeg ligger mig i den har jeg en følelse af luksus og velvære.

Komfort og vores valg af madrasser

Det er første gang Anders og jeg har en rigtig god seng. Jeg ved ikke helt hvordan jeg skal definere en rigtig god seng, men altså.. det er første gang der er forskel på vores madrasser, første gang vi har fået vejledning i hvad der er det rette valg for os og første gang vi ligger os i vores seng og kan mærke en stor forskel.

Anders har fået en madras der er ‘fast’ og jeg har fået den der hedder ‘medium’, begge passer til vores individuelle vægt. Vores topmadras er Bedre Nætters Latex Lux top madras. Vi har prøvet memoryfoam, og det var ikke noget for os, men denne her topmadras er super lækker til vores behov og smag.

Generelt virker alle elementer virkelig lækre, og man er ikke i tvivl om at det er en kvalitetsseng man står med på noget tidspunkt.

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Praktisk om køb af seng hos Bedre Nætter

Hvis du står og overvejer at skulle have en ny seng er der nogle praktiske sager jeg gerne vil fremhæve.

  1. For det første var sengen utrolig nem at samle. Ja, faktisk så nem at jeg klarede det meste alene med en baby i viklen på maven. Madrasserne skal man gerne være to om at ligge op, for de er skridsikre og derfor ikke ret nemme at mingelere rundt alene – det er jo så heldigvis en stor fordel når sengen er samlet. Betrækket på sengen er aftageligt, og kan faktisk også tilkøbes i andre farver, hvis nu man skulle fortryde valg af farve eller hvis det bare trænger til en opfriskning vaskemaskinen ikke kan klare.
  2. Bedre Nætter tilbyder 100 dages prøve, så hvis du er nervøs for at handle online kan dette måske være med til at få dig på andre tanker. Tænk at kunne prøve en seng i dit eget hjem over en længere periode, og så have mulighed for at fortryde hvis det føles forkert?
  3. Hos Bedre Nætter har du mulighed for at betale over 10 måneder, og det er selvfølgelig rentefrit. Det vil sige at du kan dele betalingen op over 10 måneder og stadig få sengen til helt samme fordelagtige pris – for de har nemlig også prisgaranti!

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Så hvis du som vi er en af dem der har gået og drømt om en ny og ordentlig seng i mange år, så kan jeg bare sige at jeg synes du skal springe ud i det! Jeg lover du ikke vil fortryde det! Tænk på at du bruger 1/3 af dit liv i din seng 🙂

Tusind tak fordi du læste med!


Skærmbillede 2017-08-21 kl. 22.35.46



1, 2, 3 og væk med børneeksem

De af jer der har fulgt med på Instagram ved, at Ellie har kæmpet med børneeksem siden hun var knap en måned gammel.

Både læge og sygeplejerske anbefalede Decubals 70% fedt creme, og hvis det ikke hjalp skulle vi ud i en hormoncreme, og ærlig talt, så synes jeg det føltes helt forkert, især når hun er så lille.

Jeg lavede et opslag på Instagram og spurgte om råd og erfaringer, og min indbakke bugnede med beskeder fra søde følgere der ville hjælpe. Det var så dejligt!

Der var et par der skrev om det naturlige produkt, Kræs babybad, som er noget man putter i badevandet. Jeg besluttede at det var værd at prøve, når det nu var helt naturligt. Vi fulgte anvisningerne (vi startede ud med den variant med kokos, fordi Ellie var meget tør, men nu bruger vi begge varianter lidt på skift), badede hende hver dag, duppede hende tør og smurte hende ind i creme bagefter. Der var virkelig mange der anbefalede en creme fra A-Derma, så efter et stykke tid med Decubal uden resultater besluttede jeg mig for at give den en chance, og det viste sig at være den helt rette kombination for os.


Sådan så hun ud en uge før vi startede behandlingen. Det kan måske være svært at se, men det var stort set over alt på overkroppen, og til sidst nåede det hele vejen ned at benene også. Selv rundt om øjnene og inde i ørene.

Allerede efter et par bade med Kræs Babybad begyndte hendes rødmen at aftage, og mens vi stadig brugte Decubal havde hun ‘kun’ tør hud. Hun lignede jeg-ved-ikke-hvad, skallede over alt på kroppen, men rødmen var væk! Da vi skiftede Decubal cremen ud med den fra A-Derma skete der pludselig mere, og jeg tror vi i løbet af 14 dage havde hendes bløde babyhud helt tilbage. Derefter trappede vi badene ned til hver 2. dag, så hver 3. dag osv.

Sådan her så hun ud efter et par bade.


Når hun har været meget ude på de rigtig kolde dage kan man se det er på vej tilbage, og så øger vi intervallerne mellem badene, men alt i alt har vi stort set fået det helt væk.

Det er simpelthen så fedt, og siden I var så mange der kæmpede med eksem besluttede jeg mig for at jeg ville dele det her med jer alle, selvom jeg godt ved det ikke er sikkert alle reagerer på samme måde.


Sådan ser hun ud nu. Helt fin og blød, lige som det er dejligst med små babyer.

Jeg håber det vil komme nogle af jer til gavn, for ærlig talt var det hjerteskærende at ens lille baby som burde føles helt blød og lækker i stedet føltes som et sandpapir, og var enormt generet af det!

Tak fordi I læste med!


Skærmbillede 2017-08-21 kl. 22.35.46